In the last issue I quoted the famous line of Sir Edward Grey, the British foreign secretary, upon the eve of the Great War: "The lamps are going out all over Europe; we shall not see them lit again in our lifetime." One hundred years later, that's not a metaphor but real life after the Arab Spring. Massive power outages were the subject of a nationally televised address by Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi this past summer. In parts of Libya, the power is out six to 14 hours a day. In Lebanon, blackouts are so routine, there are smartphone apps to track them. The brutal establishment of the "Islamic State" in Syria and Iraq this summer led some to ask whether the Arab world was heading into a new dark age. Metaphorically, let's hope not. Literally, some parts of it already have.
The lights are on in China, which is just as well, because it is hard to see the sun. A relative returned recently from a trip to China and reported not seeing the direct sun for more than a fortnight due to the fearsome air pollution. I had read stories in 2008 of China shutting down factories to clear the air for the Beijing Olympics but didn't realize the problem was so acute. This past summer, it was reported that Chinese leaders proposed a summit in Beijing this fall with Japanese leaders to mend fractured relations. Maybe the Chinese are only hoping for a return invitation to the land of the rising sun.
Convivium's friend Rex Murphy wrote a very sympathetic column upon the death of Joan Rivers, praising her "fearless" refusal to "bow to political correctness": "You had many emotions after a Joan Rivers' set, but they did not include the sensation of being a better human being." In fact, Rivers commercial genius, not exactly original in stand-up comedy, was to say out loud those variously debased and degrading things that we may think but learn not to say. Her originality—massively lucrative over many generations—was that a lady could be as coarse, as insulting and as depraved as men. In her latter years, her act consisted almost entirely of insulting people. That most of those she chose to insult were celebrities made it popular but hardly ennobling. Joan Rivers knew no small measure of suffering, and that she could laugh despite it all is no small achievement. But her comedy was small and narrow, always playing down to the worst in her audiences. Laughter is the best medicine goes the old expression, but Joan Rivers was something of a bitter pill. Requiescat in pace.
It's fall and students are back in school, but schools are less busy than they used to be. Ontario's schools, for example, are lacking students. Some 46 out of 72 school boards are operating schools that are at less than capacity. Most school boards in the province have declining year-on-year enrolments. This costs school boards money, as they get funding per student. The province also requires school boards to operate full schools to qualify for education fees paid by developers, and so school boards with half-empty schools miss out. The government is working on adjusting the formula. Unfortunately, there is no immediate adjustment available for the fundamental problem—not enough children in Ontario.
The Toronto mayoral race is, if possible, getting stranger. Second-tier candidates were dropping out in order to avoid splitting the anti-Rob Ford vote. Then Ford himself dropped out when he was hospitalized for an abdominal tumour. As Convivium goes to press, there are still several weeks left in the campaign, but there seems to be a sense that Toronto voters will deliver themselves from the debauched Ford circus in this case his brother, Doug Ford, who has stepped in. A wacky but wholesome choice is on offer in Happy Happy, who entered the mayoral race in April, withdrew and then got back in in June. Happy Happy, 79, was born Theodore Anthony Robert Charron and, according to his life story recounted in 10 selfpublished books, dropped out of school in Grade 7, illiterate due to undiagnosed dyslexia and on his way to years as a "thief and a crook and a gambler and a drug addict and an alcoholic." But in 1962 he was mistakenly invited to a Youth for Christ meeting and encountered Jesus that night. He turned his life around and his transparent happiness led to his new friends giving him the nickname "Happyness." In due course, he officially changed his name to Happy Happy. Happy—forgive the first-name informality—is a crackpot. But he is a harmless, benevolent, generous crackpot – maybe even a fool for Christ. Toronto's outgoing mayor is not only a crackpot but a crack user, and could no doubt use a little more of Happy's happiness in his life.
What Rob Ford does not need is more dubious men around him. But there was Mike Tyson, the bizarrely tattooed felon dropping by the mayor's office for a visit and endorsing Ford, apparently looking to nail down the celebrity thug vote. "He's the best mayor in Toronto's history," gushed Tyson. No journalist was brave enough to ask Tyson if he could name another mayor in Toronto's history. The absurdly serious treatment the press corps gave to Tyson invites biting comment.
This fall marks the retirement of Hazel McCallion, 93, who seems to have been mayor for all of Mississauga's history. She was first elected in 1978, and was re-elected or acclaimed ever since, to serve for 34 years. Her accomplishments are many, but I remember best a scene from last November at a celebratory Mass in St. Joseph's parish in Streetsville. The mayor was there—she attends everything it seems!—and despite great age and not being Catholic, at the relevant part of the Mass, she was kneeling in the front pew. Given the alternative witness being offered in Toronto at the time, it was another reason to appreciate the long service of Canada's longest-serving mayor.
The United Socialist Party of Venezuela at its September meeting was also at prayer. It was not in repentance for the misery the late Hugo Chavez brought upon his country. They prayed quite to the contrary: "Our Chavez, who art in heaven, the earth, the sea, and we, delegates, hallowed be thy name. Thy legacy come, so we can spread it to people here and elsewhere. Give us this daylight to guide us. Lead us not into the temptation of capitalism, deliver us from the evil of oligarchy, like the crime of contraband, because ours is the homeland, peace and life. Forever and ever. Amen. Viva Chavez!" Jorge Urosa Savino, Archbishop of Caracas, did not mince words, informing the nation that anyone who prayed thusly would be guilty of the mortal sin of idolatry. As such, Cardinal Urosa asked the governing party not to distribute the prayer. The Cardinal need not worry – if the Chavez partisans distribute the prayer with the same efficiency that they distributed basic economic necessities and household goods, very few will ever get it.
Corruption abounds. My colleague at the National Post, Jonathan Kay, is bullish on the Charbonneau commission into that nexus in the worlds of Quebec politics, the mafia and construction: "Yet the real payoff will come in the years and decades to come, as strict new rules for public tendering ensure that Quebec finally joins the modern era when it comes to ensuring transparency and fighting corruption." Perhaps. In 1974, Premier Robert Bourassa created the Cliche Commission to investigate corruption, violence and organized crime in Quebec's construction industry. It riveted the province then, as the Charbonneau Commission does now. Quebec's mobsters are now on notice. If they don't clean up their act in the next four decades, there will be another tough commission in 2054.
Few people remember Robert Cliche, the former NDP politician and judge in Quebec. But the Cliche Commission included a junior commissioner named Brian Mulroney and its chief counsel was one Lucien Bouchard. The former prime minister was back in the news on the 30th anniversary of his smashing 1984 election victory, but the 40th anniversary of his inquisitorial entrance to public life was overlooked. The question of inquiries is a sensitive one for Mulroney, as he used the Cliche Commission to launch the career of his friend, Lucien Bouchard. Then there was the Oliphant Commission, unique in that it was struck in 2009 to inquire not about an industry or an issue but to investigate one thing—Mulroney's dubious dealings with Karlheinz Schreiber. Mulroney's impressive career as prime minister was in fact bookended by two royal commissions into corruption—the first with him as an investigator, the second with him as a subject. He who lives by the commission dies by the commission.
Pope Francis likes to give interviews. Over the summer, he told an Argentinian magazine his 10 secrets for happiness. It was rather more Dale Carnegie and Oprah Winfrey than Moses and Saint Paul, but still full of good sense. The occasion illustrated why the mainstream secular culture loves Francis. On Good Morning America the hosts discussed the pontifical advice. Dan Harris: "I'm surprised, actually, that on his list you don't find prayer or meditation, which is interesting." Lara Spencer: "No, in fact, he does talk about making Sundays a no-work-day and family time, but he never does mention prayer." George Stephanopoulos: "That is surprising." Harris: "It is also interesting that he talks a lot about respecting other people's beliefs and not proselytizing." Amy Robach: "That's fantastic." Harris: "Which is very interesting coming from a pope." Robach: "There's a reason why he's the people's pope." Harris: "People love him." Yes, the Pope is ever so much more lovable when he doesn't speak about prayer or conversion or other odd religious things. Of course, Pope Francis speaks about such things frequently, but not everything can be said in every interview. He certainly thinks that going to church on Sunday is a given, and reminded people that the rest of the day should be for family, not devoted to more work or watching endless hours of football. Yet the (wilful?) misunderstanding is telling – there is nothing more comfortable than a preacher who confirms rather than challenges.
Calgary radio station AMP briefly adopted a new format in which songs were edited so that they could be played at half length, thereby allowing twice as many songs to be played per hour. Following major protests and boycotts by Canadian stars such as Jann Arden, the station quickly went back to playing full-length songs. There are, of course, plenty of songs that at half the length would still be rather too long, so a little trimming here and there might be wise. Here at Convivium, we are loathe to inveigh against judicious abbreviation, with our publisher an emeritus of Reader's Digest. After all, it may just be that AMP thought it had figured out the radio equivalent of Small Talk.
Sources
1.“Power spotty in much of Middle East,” USA Today, September 8, 2014. http:// time.com/3078720/ china-japan-apec-summit/.
2. Rex Murphy, “The woman who taught feminism how to laugh,” National Post, September 6, 2014.
3. “Half empty schools are costing TDSB millions,” The Globe and Mail, September 5, 2014.
4. “Defying all odds, citizen thrusts himself into mayoral race,” The Toronto Star, July 25, 2014.
5.“Venezuelan Cardinal: Praying the ‘Our Chavez’ is idolatrous,” Catholic News Agency, September 3, 2014.
6. Jonathan Kay, “Thanks to Charbonneau, tough times for Quebec’s mobsters,” National Post, August 26, 2014.
7. Good Morning America, ABC Television, August 4, 2014.
.8 “Calgary radio station offers twice the hits by cutting songs in half,” National Post, August 7, 2014.
